Proper Solution: Responding to Slurs in the Classroom

I have had two noteworthy experiences in which I was called to act when I heard students using bigoted slurs. The first time was with a racial slur. The White speaker of the word was a victim of bullying, and used the word to leverage his privilege to "even the field" with the person he threw the slur at (a Child of Color). I not so much intervened as I intercepted, and handed the situation off to a supervisor who was close by.

This happened when I had some experience working with kids, but early on in my experience with middle school children.

He explained how other people have used the word. How the word was/is used by White racists as they torment/ed Black families, assault/ed Black bodies, and murdered Black people. The child was quiet. He continued to be bullied.

My second experience was with a homophobic slur. Two students seemed to be new speakers of the word, experimenting with the word and its use - but clearly aware of how to use it, probably because they hear it so frequently at home, in media, etc. I tensed up - I had identified myself to these students as gay, and I am queer-identifying. I am comfortable in my sexuality, but this was the first class I had ever properly come out to.

I felt betrayed, I felt hurt, and I was called to act. I used the same tactic I saw prior, and informed them of the word's etymology (at least in urban legend). I explained to the boys - at a volume that others could hear, if they chose, but without stopping the class - that the word has also been used to define a bundle of sticks to burn on the fire. In previous societies, homosexuals would be murdered, flogged, and, in some places, burned at the stake for their sexuality. The connection was made, and the slur was born.

I ended my explanation with the clear expectation that I would never hear the word in my classroom again.

"Okay, faggot" one boy replied. A boy who cannot control his body. A boy whose parents are separated, whose father lives in another country, whose father he looks up to but has not seen in years. A boy whose mother is largely absent, whose mother is expecting another child. Whose primary caregiver is a distant relative he did not know two years ago.

And so, I reprimanded him. I sent him out of the room, destined for the office. An improper solution. But, in the face of bigotry, is there any proper solution?